So I feel I need to blog about this, because something tells me I need to. Something has happened to me within the last week, and I have no idea what. But what I do know is that I have found God back in my life.... Not that I ever lost it, I mean I found God a long time ago. But something has changed. I want to tell my story...
So I grew up a good Catholic girl, went to Church EVERY Sunday, said prayers.. you know, the norm. I was close with my religion, went to CCD in high school, prayed for people and my sports (Maybe could I get 5 kills next game? A double would be awesome Lord!) haha, typical high schooler!
My sophmore year in high school, my grandmother passed away from breast cancer. We were very close and it was extremely hard to see her a few weeks before her passing in the nursing home. She was skin and bones, not how my grandma usually looked (you know, the chubby fat grandma everyone loves to hug). Her funeral was beautiful, and I knew she was in a better place. She died on Thursday, May 13th and her funeral was on Saturday. The service was so hard to get through, as people told stories about her and I think it hit me the hardest because we were so close. But this is not why I am writing this, my story continues on the Sunday AFTER the funeral. I was outside, playing with Justin, my doggie, and we would go back to the creek behind our house and look around at stuff (it was a good half a mile behind our property, I always played down there, once I found an old horse shoe- very cool)... and I was talking to God and my Grandma up in heaven, crying as I said my goodbyes. I was walking along the creek, up on higher ground when I noticed a patch of asparagus growing right in the middle of the weeds! I had to take a double-take, because I have played back there for YEARS and no asparagus has ever grown back there in the weeds and tall grass. What struck me was that when I was little, my grandmas would grow a patch of asparagus in the garden, and we would go out and pick it! I can still smell it as she cooked it up.... but yeah, I just stared at it for a while... then decided to pick some. I knew it was Grandma and God sending me a message that everything was fine and to not be sad and to think of her and the memories we shared. So I picked some, but not all. I brought them back to the house and I think we ate them (I can't quite remember). But I knew that was HIM, giving me a sign! It was amazing. The next day I went back and the patch was gone, I looked and looked, but it was gone. Amazing.
My second story was when I was in college. It is kind of gross, so just bare with me people. So I played sports in college and was in and out of alot of locker rooms. Well, I developed planters warts on my feet. If you had ever had them, you know some of them hurt. Well they started to spread all over my feet and on my toes.... I thought it was calluses at first, from my feet being completely sore from being in my volleyball shoes 24/7. Well I had them for around a year and a half, and they were so gross, but I was so scared to go to the doctor to get them cut out. I was home for Christmas break and I talked to my mom and we were going to make an appointment for Martin Luther King Weekend at the Doctors Office. One night I laid in bed and just prayed and prayed to the Lord to heal me if he could. I finally told Him that I give all this to Him and I trusted Him to get me through this. I told Him I know it will hurt, but I know He is there and will get me through it. I cried myself to sleep (I was really scared, I hate blood and knives and all that jazz).... So it is probably 2 weeks later, I was in my dorm room at school and I climb up my loft to get something. Now, these planters warts on my feet hurt and when I would climb up the ladder in my loft, I could feel them. But suddenly I realized that nothing hurt! I was confused and so I got down and took my socks off. I was in disbelief! They were all almost gone!!!!! WHAT?! HUH?! What happened? They all just disappeared, just like that! I immediatly fell to my knees and cried to the Lord. It was a miracle! I had these things on my feet for over a year and just like that they disappeared! I knew it was Him. He answered my prayer! I was so grateful for that. I will never forget that moment. I just cried. I knew He heard me! Such a wonderful and powerful feeling. I never told anyone about that. So now I have. I gave all my fears to Him, and He healed me. Praise to you Lord.
I will continue my story to today. I am very happily married to the love of my life, Ryan. We have been together for over 7 years (2 1/2 married), and we are very blessed with amazing family and friends, jobs and a beautiful home. We took our pre-marriage classes very seriously, and listened to the priest, Fr. Bob, closely to what he had to say. We still talk about things now and then what he told us. Once we were married, and especially since we got the house, our faith has kind of been on the back-burner. And its totally not on purpose, it is just EASIER to sleep in on Sunday when you have worked 50-60 hours that week, have events to attend, work to do on the house, and so forth. We have gotten caught up in materialistic things: for example me (having the new clothes to wear to work, even though I have a whole closet full of stuff or a new peice of jewelry, or I must have a new couch or new pictures for the walls) and Ryan (wanting to buy that new fishing lure or that new game). And I am totally NOT saying that women don't deserve a nice Coach purse, or a nice piece of jewelry! NO WAY! Let's be honest, every woman needs one. Just not a new one every season. Its about QUALITY NOT QUANTITY PEOPLE!
So this is where something has changed. I used to be so caught up in glamour and trying to get my house to look like a Pottery Barn catalog (still love them though). But suddenly, that stuff doesn't mean that much anymore. I suddenly don't feel the need to go buy new stuff, or even shop. WOAH! WEIRD! LOL Ryan seems to feel the same way. Who cares if we still have old carpet in our bedroom. Who cares if I have last year's sweater. What difference will it make if I buy a new one? I will still be the same person. Again, I am not stresssing the idea of being frumpy. When I need a new pair of jeans, I will surely buy one- but not at a designer store, at Kohls. I will still look cute and "with-it"! It's not like my status in life will go up to "celebrity" if I have a pair of Citizen jeans.... it will do nothing but set me back $200 for my children's college education someday... LOL.
But that is not the only thing that has changed. I find myself really paying attention to things around me. For example: Today I went to Noodles for lunch. I was waiting on my food To-Go and I noticed this pregant woman come in, order and then was waiting on to-go food as well. I was sitting on a 2-person bench with 3 people. I got up and let her have my seat. I felt so good that I did that. I felt Him smiled down on me.
So I have found this amazing peace inside me. I had it once, but it faded- no- I let it fade. I thank you Lord, for my life and my blessings. You are the reason that I get through my days. You are with me always, everyday, every hour. You are with me when I play volleyball on Monday nights, You are with me at work as I look at countless Halloween websites, You are with Ryan at work as he makes people healthier, You are amazing!
I am embracing this new peace and feeling of God's love and presence so much.
Thank you for listening (or should I say reading) this blog post.
God Bless,
Erin